Before I became a mother, I was given a lot of advice from other mothers in my family and friends who are moms. I was given advice about diapers, breastfeeding, baby wearing, how sleep deprived I would be, etc. But one thing I wasn’t warned about? Mommy guilt.
UGH the Mommy guilt.
Mommy guilt can strike at any time. If you want to eat before your child does, if you want to take a shower, if you want to get out of the house for a night…even if you want to hand off the baby to your husband for an hour – anything you want to do for yourself and your sanity (including going back to work!) – you will feel guilt. It’s this terrible feeling that you are being a bad mom for ever having an inkling of wanting something for yourself that doesn’t include your kids. It’s that little goblin in the back of your mind that is telling you, “I can’t believe how selfish you are being!!”.
It rules us moms on a daily basis.
As a mom, I feel guilt when:
- I want to go back to work, or start my own business.
- Ask for help with anything.
- I want to go shopping without a child
- I want to take a nap.
- I want to eat.
- I want to take a shower, or get a hair cut.
- I want to leave dirty dishes in the sink and play with my kids instead.
See how silly I can be? But, I am learning everyday how to get control of that little goblin, and tell them Not So Fast!! How?
How I let go of Mommy Guilt:
I ask myself three questions:
- Is it Meaningful?
- Is it Fun?
- Is it Necessary?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, I forbid myself to feel guilty about it. It’s meaningful to sit down and play with my son rather than clean the house. It’s fun to go shopping for an hour or two by myself… It’s necessary to take a damn shower.
I invite you to try! And ,while you are at it, read the book I got the strategy from: Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann. It was a lifesaver!